Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Stories of the Order - Pizza

Can you imagine a time without pizza?  Well believe it or not there was a time when the world functioned very well without that large flat expanse of half baked bread covered with cheese numerous bits of factory left overs and tomato sauce.  People were quite satisfied with their fish and chips on a Saturday night, and in fact this was so much part of the Englishman's life that the practice was often denounced from the pulpit as the local minister on his way home from Evensong would meet wee Jamie tearing round the corner to the local chip shop clutching a ten bob note for the family to be fed on their weakly fish and chips doused with tomato sauce.  Ah no the minister would say this is not the way to feed your family. The little ones need something more nutritious than fish and chips. 

The tomato sauce was actually a new introduction to the Englishman's fare.  HP sauce was the first sauce produced and it had a good hearty tang that froze one side of your tongue, it was the Italians that first introduced the tomato sauce to dear old England.  As the Englishman became more and more keen on this particular sauce the Italians had to grow more and more tomatoes.  Then came the Second World War and the because the Italians were fighting on the wrong side England refused to accept any more of their tomato sauce.  We'll grow our own they said.  Grow for England was the slogan.  The English weather did little to help them accomplish their goal.

Meanwhile in Italy war or no war they were still growing their tomatoes.  Tons of them.  Until there was such a haul of them that something had to be done.  Meetings were held all over Italy as tomatoes were left in huge piles in the shops and rotted on the vine. Things were getting desperate, the Italians would have to find a way of using those bloody tomatoes!  Enter the saviors of the day - the Soveriegn Order of Monte Cristo.   The director that year happened to have 45 tomato farms and the rings were taking up every shed, and speed bedroom, heck they were even under his own bed and in all 27 loos in his very large house. 

After a great deal of thought he realized he must find a way to get the Italian people to eat huge amounts of tomato sauce.  Yes you've guessed it.  He can up with the Pizza!  And now to crown it all he has the English eating them too.


  1. I firmly believe that pizza is one of the greatest inventions in history.

  2. ha. have dilemna, fix it...create pizza....probably the one food anyone in the world will eat...

  3. One way to get people to do your bidding

  4. Pizza - the answer to everything

  5. Yes, pizza is a great invention...... but 27 loos!