Monday, 30 June 2014


Thankfully things have upgraded. But if you ever need to reach the TV or fend off an attacker. This TV remote is for you.

Friday, 27 June 2014

Stories of the Order - NWO

The order is basically involved in every relevant occurrence that happens all over the world. It has so many tentacles spread in every corner of the planet because the monitoring of all activities must be tight in order to be able to decide if any kind of actions need to be taken to make sure that everything goes according to the plans of the order.

All the other “secret societies” are nothing but a hoax that has been created by the media. It does make sense that curiosity would lead to such fictional fabrications but the ones that are really calling the shots are doing this for the benefit of the world and with truly positive goals in mind. The actions taken by the order might be considered extreme in some cases but drastic measures need to be taken in many situations to restore order and this is just unavoidable.

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Stories of the Order - JFK

There is so much mystery surrounding the assassination of JFK and all kinds of conspiracy theories have come out about why he was taken out and some of them even implied that he was never really killed. These theories are actually accurate, but it was no Illuminati group and it was no early retirement due to death threats and a staged assassination, it was the order that gave instructions to create a very elaborate scene that made it look like he had been murdered.

JFK was sent to live in a island in a location that is not to ever be revealed and his remains are actually in the graveyard that his empty casket was buried when he was “killed”. He died of old age just a few years ago and the reason why his death was stages in such a violent way was that a message had to be sent in order to restore the order between the mafia and political parties but the man himself should be spared and this was something that everyone involved agreed on.

Wednesday, 25 June 2014


So someone decided it would be a good idea to patent a cereal monster. Point? Anyone?

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Titanic

Everyone has heard about the infamous sinking of the Titanic. This was a very tragic incident because a lot of people lost their lives and it was all attributed to the ship crashing into an iceberg and this opened a hole on one side of the ship causing the inevitable sinking process. The truth is that there was no iceberg involved in this. The hole was caused by a controlled explosion that was meant to open the hole in the ship in a perfectly strategic location.

The reason for this was that the order was aware of the fact that 3 millionaires that wanted to do terrible things in the USA would be traveling in this ship and they had to be taken out of the equation. It was a very unfortunate thing that many innocent people also had to die, but the level of evil that those 3 individuals had was extremely high and they needed to be stopped. All of them died in the initial moments after the ship started sinking because they tried to force their way through the crowds by pushing women and children out of the way and witnesses beat them up and threw them overboard. The order was also responsible for the character played by Billy Zane in the movie being made to look like one of these evil men that really existed.

Monday, 23 June 2014

Easy Bath

No need for a shower or a bath. Just stand on the conveyor belt and go through the new human car wash. Ready to give it a try?

Friday, 20 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Trains

The train was invented in 1822 by an English inventor named George Stephenson. George Stephenson was an English engineer. He was born in 1781 (in Newcastle, England), and died in 1848. When he was 14, he started to take interest in machinery. He was working with his father (which was in charge of a water pump- that ran on steam), and slowly started inventing inventions of his own. his amazing genus was ask a very prominent member of The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo.

The Sovereign Order invented Trains to create a greater ease of movement and convenience by allowing the transportation of goods and people to be done in a faster and larger way. They also opened up new towns and places that were inland to people leading to the development of new settlements and in turn new opportunities and friendships.

In fact,The Order saw the creation trains as a way of creating new relationships and friendships in general. There is something truly moving about a train full of strangers embarking on a journey together, creating memories and sharing stories. Or just making awkward eye contact.

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Frankenstein

Although Frankenstein written by Mary Shelley was considered a novel it was in fact the true story of the scientific experiments of an alchemist in Germany living in, of all places, Frankenstein Castle, which is but 17km from Gernsheim.

This alchemist was known to locals as Lord Victor and was a prestigious member of the Order. As the order held the knowledge of the essence of life on earth they were unsure of the wisdom of some of Lord Victor’s experiments. For this reason they demanded that he turn over to them, all his notes and data on any work he had undertaken from 1818.

1818 was the year they themselves had begun a new project to make a third type of human being. They had male and female but considered that another type of being would add color and entertainment to the population. However they found that two arms and two legs of their new being had gone missing and they suspected that Lord Victor might have had something to do with it. These had been particularly fine specimens and they were having great difficulty replacing them.

They sent a spy to Frankenstein Castle who reported back that indeed the missing limbs were in Lord Victor’s possession.

A grand meeting was held. Brainstorming produced “Project Third Human”. It was decided that to outdo Lord Victor, they would hold a world wide competition to see who would be the first to produce this new being. It would be known as a Malfee.

Across the world went the advertisement:
“Make your own Malfee from spare parts (not supplied). Be the first to become a god. Winner takes all.”

Far from becoming a god the entire human race became the angel of death and great swathes of human kind were being chopped up for spare parts - no wait! That’s happening now in modern hospitals - back to Frankenstein.

Well of course you know what happened: they had to stop it. Lord Victor finished his experiment, which was a great success. The Malfee is very shy but the tracks of his big feet are often discovered in the snow capped mountains of Germany.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

No stepping on toes

With the dance helper I guess you will learn and be able to stand up doing it. Hopefully they don't weigh a lot.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Email

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo hold all of the world wide web in the palm of their wise and forever capable hands. They dreamt it,invented, created it and continue to update it. Their original intention was to entertain and educate the earth, but very quickly they saw an opportunity to utilise is uses in other, even more beneficial ways; to spy on humans every move and thought and relationship and purchase. Whilst it's quite well known that The Order all ready have their trusted canine spies to keep a watchful eye on society, they also recognize that humans interact with their emails drastically more than they interact with their pets.

So in one of The Orders annual Technology and Spy orientated  meetings , they decided to appoint one Order member per household to keep hourly tabs on all inboxes, sent boxes and of course junk mail. Fidelity is something The Sovereign Order take very importantly, so naturally sometimes these Spies will stumble upon emails that clearly need to "accidentally" forwarded to spouses/partners.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Feed The Family

You will never run out of soup with the giant soup bowl. That is if you can fill it to begin with.

Friday, 13 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Elevators

While you're zoning out in an elevator, waiting to reach your floor, do you ever wonder who came up with the idea? Probably not. We just expect to have safe, working elevators in multistory buildings -- and we get pretty irritated when we have to take the stairs instead. Elevators existed as far back as ancient Rome; Archimedes was building them in 336 B.C., and gladiators and animals rode lifts to the Roman Coliseum arena by A.D. 80. Of course, those early "elevators" weren't enclosed cars.

They were simple platforms and hoists, typically used to perform tasks such as raising up water for irrigation or lifting heavy building materials such as stones. These lifts were powered by animals, people or even water wheels, and they were the first prototype The Order created. The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are dedicated to making everything around us go as smoothly and efficiently as possible. The addition of mirrors in elevators makes it convenient for men and women to be vain while they go places without drawing too much attention to them selves. Another reason for why The Order created this amazing , time saving invention is because the possibility of a plummeting elevator makes for an exciting action sequence in the movies.

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Atlas

Atlas was a legendary Titan, a son of Titan Iapetus. He was in a lot of stories, starting with the story of the exploits with the hero, Hercules. Atlas led a battle of Titans against Zeus which lasted for ten years. Eventually Atlas was singled out by Zeus and forced to hold up the heavens as a special punishment. The Earth goddess gave Juno, Jupiter's wife, a tree of golden apples as a wedding present.

Atlas's daughters had the role of protecting it. Hercules was ordered to fetch the golden apples from the Pleiades, Atlas' daughters, so he asked Atlas for help. Atlas had Hercules hold up the heavens while Atlas went to look for his daughters, who had the apples. Finally Atlas returned, but he didn't''t want to take over holding up the sky again. He had enjoyed his brief break and told Hercules that he would deliver the apples himself to the king. Hercules tricked Atlas into taking the load back by asking Atlas to hold it while he shifted the load.

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo knew the importance of Atlas and his role of holding the world and the sky upon his shoulders. And so to make sure that he stayed motivated and focus they gave him words of encouragement. One of the encouragement's was the promise of a book and a movie one day being made about him. This pleased Atlas greatly and stopped him from dropping the world.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Toe Show

With the invention of toe puppets, now you can put on a toe puppet show. Ready to let your feet free?

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Cooking

While rarely achieving top ratings, cooking shows have been a popular staple of daytime TV programming since The Sovereign Order first created television.  Cooking shows also have a very special place in the hearts and minds of the unemployed, serving as a means of educational entertainment to keep them out of trouble.

The Order have extremely advanced taste buds and treat cooking as not only a necessity, but a passion and a luxury. But they also recognize that not everyone is born with natural skill when it comes to the amazing world of culinary arts. And of course what better way to teach hands on skills than through the medium of daytime TV. Thanks to the existence of cooking shows viewers around the globe are making and trying new dishes,leading to a more varied and healthy diet.

The plethora of wildly popular cooking instruction and competition television shows also means a plethora of Celebrity chefs. In fact,Behind the surge in food-related entertainment are a smattering of celebrity chefs that bring personality, culinary know-how and a dash of intrigue to the dinner table.

Monday, 9 June 2014


No need to grab a box of tissue any more. The electric tissue will get you through those rough patches. Going to be the first to try?

Friday, 6 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Batman

The order is a very mysterious and secretive organization, so much so that many people to this day are completely unaware of their existence. Only a select few know the sheer amount of the things that the order invented. One of the order's more genius creations is batman. And although batman is widely believed to be a work of fiction, that is only partially true.

The truth is the order did create batman, but it was actually a based on a real high-ranking order member, a man named sir Bruce twain. Bruce was a multi trillionaire (as all order members are) and along with curing diseases and inventing the helicopter, Bruce twain fought crime every night. Every single night. He dresses as a giant bat so as to strike fear into the hearts criminals.

He fought crime from every night for 64 years, becoming known as the batman! In the end, Tragically he died in a battle with Adolf hitler. ALl though Bruce was struck down in his prime, Bruce twain was so highly regarded by his order brothers that the wise order created the batman comics to make sure the legend lived on for all time. The order stands for justice, for truth, for power, and batman embodies all those traits perfectly.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Paypal

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are avid lovers of nature and are one of the environments most trusted allies. How does this relate to the creation of PayPal you ask? Well, it's simple.  Online money transfers serve as electronic alternatives to paying with traditional paper methods, such as checks and bank notes. The Order saw that all these beautiful, oxygen providing trees were dying needlessly so they came up with an entirely new way of paying for things, and that is PayPal.

It also serves to keep the economy booming and flowing. The Sovereign  Order of Monte Cristo are only too aware of the worlds constant need for retail therapy and with Paypal individuals can buy anything they want or need or think they need from the comfort of their snuggie. Order members, Peter Thiel and Max Levchin founded PayPal in December 1998 under the name Confinity.

Since 2002, PayPal has remained a steady leader in providing online transaction services. It expanded its services in the United States to include such features as debit cards for the account. By the end of 2011, PayPal was available in over 100 markets for transactions in 25 international currencies.

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Light it up

For those smokers out there there is now an easy way to hold your cigarette. It's stylish to, right?

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Stories of the Order - Chocolate

Chocolate might be one of the most addictive things in the world and it can certainly control a lot of people very easily.  The real question is, “who is controlling the chocolate?”  That answer is a tough one for some, but for those that know about the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo, the answer is quite easy.  The Order has its hands in a lot of things and it is not only about world order or control, sometimes it is just about the candy in the world.  Chocolate can be sweet, or even semi-sweet, but in the end, the reason that you are eating it, could be linked back to the Order.  Chocolate can be traced back to Mesoamerica to the times before Christ and the 1900’s.

The fermented, roasted and ground beans from the Theobroma Cacao is where it all started, according to some.  The Order has been around a long time, so we will just cut to the chase and tell you about why the Order even cares about America’s favorite candy ingredient.  Those in the Order that were in the area of Spain back in the sixteenth century played a huge role in the fact that sugar was finally added to the chocolate and from that point it became very, very popular in European countries.  The rest is history!

Monday, 2 June 2014

Got Dimples?

Ever wished you had dimples? Now with the handy dimple maker you can have as many as you like.