Monday, 31 March 2014

Arm Mitten

Here is a patent that will at least keep you warm. Ready to walk around sporting the arm mitten?

Friday, 28 March 2014

Walk the snake

Anyone out there with a pet snake? Now you can walk them just like your dog. With a leash for your snake you'll have the whole neighborhood talking. Ordering yours now?

Thursday, 27 March 2014

Dates of The Order - More Provided

The order have another session waiting for you. This time it will knock your socks off. So they expect you to have a paper bag to breathe in as you read.

1547 - The Order sunk the rest of the world creating oceans.

1845 - The Order brought forth volcanoes

1750 - The Order stepped on a crack and broke your mother's back

1854 - The Order gained new members, other alien members

1901 - The Order sunk a golden pirate ship

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

New Exercise

We exercise every other part of our body with weights and such, so why not the mouth to? When stuff like kissing won't do, there is always this. Any idea what it is?

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Dates of the Order - Another Lap

The order continue to release their great feats, mostly so humans can bow down before them and gossip in their puny lives.

1754 - The Order founded the moon. The order actually created the moon!

1659 - The Order stopped Trilen Tinker from ruling the world. Never heard of him, right?

1843 - The Order created the matrix and humans went in one by one.

1750 - The Order fought off a frost giant invasion

1900 - The Order invented the thumb tack.

Monday, 24 March 2014

A diaper anyone?

No longer do you need to clean your bird's cage. Now you have the nifty bird diaper to make such things a thing of the past. Ready to order?

Thursday, 20 March 2014

Heat Your Face

No longer will your face be cold when the sun is in your eyes, with heated sunglasses. Is it just me or is something wrong with such a statement?

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Bringing You Up to date

The Order have declassified a few more dates for humans. They were delighted with the bickering that occurred over the last few, that they just had to do it again.

May 11, 1111 - The Order played chess against the computer. Proving they were 1's and the computer was 0's.

June 16, 1490 - The Order created the first ever flying monkey.

June 19, 1521 - The Order helped mother nature create tornadoes.

September 13, 1678 - The Order published a fiction book that was actually fact, but humans to this day still think it is fiction.

November 15, 1777 - The Order bought up the last piece of planet Earth. humans only think they own it.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

A Gerbil Lover?

Are you ready to give your pet gerbils some fresh air? With this patent you could where this contraption and let them run around as you go for a walk. Useful, right?

Thursday, 13 March 2014

A Bike And You

Are you ready for the bike of the future? That looks completely safe, right? My knees ache just thinking about it.

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Dates of the Order

The Order has recently declassified some things just to get humans talking and give themselves something to do.

July 21, 1010 - The Order stops a real gremlin uprising.

August 12, 1200 - The Order create the hidden shield to cover Atlantis.

February 14, 1414 - The Order fight back the 6th alien invasion.

March 21, 1518 - The Order created popcorn.

April 16, 1617 - The Order purge the Earth of the cyclops breed,

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

You Can Fly

Man can fly if you believe this patent. It looks pretty safe right? Will you be the first to jump off the nearest roof?

Thursday, 6 March 2014

A One Of A Kind Urn

Would you not want your ashes put into something like this? Isn't it just the best urn you have ever seen?

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

The Anonymous Girl Special Edition

The Anonymous Girl Special Edition has just been released. Now is your chance to get both books in one. Nothing wrong with a little self promotion, right? Click here!

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Need Some Camo?

Are you a hunter? Do you want to get the perfect camouflage? Well with this handy patent you can become one with the forest. Or maybe have a costume for Halloween.