Monday, 30 September 2013

Stories of the Order - Tom Cruise

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is a secret society that claims to be the superpower that has been behind every event that has occurred so far. It claims to be much bigger than the Freemasons or the NWO and had legitimate claims to be behind the Mayans who were set out. Most recently, the order claims to have stopped a huge cyclone from hitting the shores of China using their superpowers, human are mere puppets in this world and the order is the puppeteer that directs every move of the humans. 
The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is a very prestigious society and the membership to the order is only given to the most deserving humans and since Tom Cruise has violated many of their rules, he would never be given membership in the order. The first violation made by Tom Cruise is that he has been married three times, and as per the rules dictated by the order, you can marry not more than once and you have to commit to a single woman for the rest of your life. The second violation he that broke was he married to women who were taller than him. According to the order, a man can only marry a woman shorter than her so that he has to always bow down while talking to her and the wife can put her chin up with pride while talking to her husband. 
These violations may have been forgiven by the order since he is a great actor and they are forgiving souls and big fans of his movies, but the last violation that Tom broke completely shut the doors of the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo for him. Tom Cruise has the audacity to believe in Scientology as a religion, which disregards the claims made by the order and does not believe in any superpowers. This is just not tolerable by the order and they do not need to prove to Tom or his religion their superiority and it is because this childish mistake by Tom to close the doors of true power and follow a tax saving cult instead that has forced the order to banish Tom Cruise from being a member of the order or as Tom believes, the order has banished all of Tom’s forthcoming lives from a member of the order.

Friday, 27 September 2013

Stories of The Order - Animals

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo has always searched the world for beings as intelligent if not more so intelligent than them. You see the Order had taken up residency on Earth among the human population. Of course humans had no clue, they are such idiots, the Order could do whatever they wanted and the humans would be none the wiser until it was too late.
If you ever wondered why the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo resided on Earth, one main reason was the animals. They wanted to study them. I guess you wonder why study some dog, cat or gold fish. They were very partial to domesticated animals.
You know how they say all movies come from some element of a truth. Well do you remember Doctor Doolittle? He was a member of the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo. Believe it, Doctor Doolittle was real and the Order made a movie based off him. For inspiration they also called Hank the Orders loyal lab. Hank gave them lots of pointers. You want to know why? Because Hank could talk, it was true animals could talk. They just didn’t want to be seen, especially with humans. It would mess up their good thing.
The Order got many of their ideas for Dr. Doolittle from pets telling their story, who totally knew better. The cat who crawled across her master’s crotch and accidentally clawed his member, well the cat knew what she was doing.  The bird flying above your head splatters you and totally misses your car with its poop, The game Angry Birds was not called Angry Birds at first, It was called Angry Birds Missile Poop. The Order created it and changed the name. The dog that runs while on a leash, it was never the car. He just needed an excuse to trip you.
You see animal are capable creatures. The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo has watched these animals, get fed, walked, belly rubbed and bathed without asking. Animals are smart. The Order could not believe how well the animals have it on Earth. It’s has quite a few members that are animals Mr. Ed was even a member. So yeah the Order does like animals better than humans because they are infinitely wiser. Most animals get free room and board, fed, walked and whatever else they wanted. The Order was impressed. So they got to know the animals. They still hang out occasionally.

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Stories of The Order - Moon Landing

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are a group of individuals living on Earth with us humans. We have no idea who or what they are. They walk among us controlling us when they feel like it. It was back in the 60s the group was starting to get bored with the humans. We did not know the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo was behind every piece of technology, and every huge event in the world.
They were busy living the lives of us lowly humans.  You see the group was far more advanced than Earth. And well Earth and it’s humans were really boring. So the elite group met together to discuss what to do about this severe boredom.  The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo felt the humans just lacked a sense of humor. But this group had a very keen sense of humor. So they decided to play jokes on us. But humans never knew they were jokes. The groups just cracked up at the human’s reaction.
They knew that Russia and the US were fighting to be the first into space and to make it the moon. So the Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo infiltrated NASA. Took a few things they needed and beat feet. Once the video of Neil Armstrong who is actually one of the higher ups in the order took part of this little stunt. Soon the video was released.  They sat back in awe of how ridiculous the humans acted over such a tiny thing.  You see the Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo have been all over the galaxy. They found it so hilarious to see two countries fighting over something so trivial like going into outer space and landing on the moon. They took it a step further by spreading rumors that the moon landing was faked, and the conspiracy theories were on.  They loved hearing the different conspiracies.
Who knew a group of such advance intelligence had such a wicked sense of humor. If anyone ever wondered about the creators of Saturday Night Live look no further, it was the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo. The fake moon landing really started something the elite group realized they liked playing jokes, 5 or 6 years later SNL was born. It has been going strong ever since.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Stories of The Order - Jurassic Park

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is an elite group of individuals. Who they are really? We will probably never really know. They have been cohabiting with humans since the dawn of time. Humans have never been aware of their existence.  But they have always been their lurking, watching and waiting. We will probably never know why.
We never really knew how long The Order has been around; it was a long time. In one of their meetings, they told stories to some of the inductees like Ms. Beckindsale. Apparently they really had been around since the dawn of time, or at least long enough for dinosaurs to be an everyday occurrence.
So because of the nostalgic feeling going through them they decided to do something they don't usually do. The Sovereign Order of Monte decided to recreate the prehistoric period. They decided to do it in a top secret place inside the center of the Earth. What people didn’t know about the movie Jurassic Park was, it is really a place, and it was one of the biggest secrets the Order have ever had, and because they are perfect creatures they did not like to talk about it. You see everyone in Jurassic Park were really there. The dinosaurs were real. Those who died really did die there. The Order just wanted to see the humans interact with the dinosaurs.
Sam Neil and Laura Dern are members of the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo. Don't you think its strange you have not seen them much since that movie? So here they were at the center of Earth when all of this went down. The Order has kept them under wraps since.
And after Jurassic Park was a big success they made two more movies in the park. Of course, there were a few causalities, but the order was smart and made everyone sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Friday, 20 September 2013


Could it be there is really an order?

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo are a group of elite individuals living on Earth. Their existence shrouded in darkness. The Order did everything they could to keep themselves safe from becoming human knowledge. They liked living on Earth because the humans were not the brightest tools in the shed. There were not too many other planets that The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo could go and hide out without being noticed. Other species they had encountered over time figured it out.

They had gotten so good at staying hidden on Earth when the story broke about an unknown author only known as the Holy Ghost Writer peeked their interest. This was the first time ever on Earth the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo was not in the know. It really blew their mind that they didn’t know. Usually they were making fun of the humans for being idiots. They were taking a keen interest in this particular individual. It became their mission to figure out who the Holy Ghost Writer was.

The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo wanted this human badly as they were special. So the Order had to invoke some of their power to weed this person out. You see the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo have great powers. It was how they were able to maintain order with the humans. Working as one they wandered in and out of every humans mind reading thoughts. When they bumped into one that they could not read their thoughts and their mind was cloaked so they could not read it.

The figure then spoke. So you finally found me. I have been waiting for you. If you wish me to join your Order I have a request. The Order listened carefully as a human no less told them they would join there Order but no one not even The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo were to know who or what the Holy Ghost Writer was. The Order had never encountered such an individual. A human who could hide their identity from the Order.

It was on this day the Order inducted the person only known as the Holy Ghost Writer into the Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo. The one and only person that no one in the world including the Order knew who they were and for right now they wanted to keep things that way.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Your Insides

Did you know:

3 to 5 pounds is the average amount of bacteria the average person carries around inside them?

3.6 billion is being spend on a new rocket engine that could make runway space flight a reality.

If you find a blue chicken egg, your chicken has a virus.

Soon Robo maggots may be munching through brain tumors

The future of smartphone security could mean you have to use your eye to turn it on.

There is actually a Truman show syndrome.

NASA is developing fresh space salad.

Monday, 16 September 2013

Mars and Insanity?

By now everyone and their dog knows about the Mars mission, where humans are going to settle there and never come back to Earth. What is you first guess as to how many applied?


Any one of those? If yes, still wrong. So far 202,586 people have applied. Are you one of them?

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Famous Folks

Know any of these about some famous folks?

Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors

Isaac Newton invented the cat door

Einstein slept 10 hours a night

Tiger Woods' real first name is Eldrick

Chevy Chase's real first name is Cornelius

No such woman named Betty Crocker created that line.

Jay Leno has never spent any money he made from the tonight show.

Patrick Stewart is a public advocate for assisted suicide

Muhammad Ali became a boxer because someone stole his bicycle

Nicolas Cage once did magic mushrooms with his cat.


Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Zamira and The World of Z

The latest sequel is out, continuing the adventures of Zeddy. (the animated videos of the first book)

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Did you know?

So how many do you know?

11% of people are left handed

Unless food is mixed with saliva you can't taste it

The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain 

August has the highest percentage of births

The longest recorded flight of a chicken was 13 seconds  

Dreamt is the only word that ends in mt 

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear 

There is no such thing as a naturally blue food 

The only continent with no active volcanoes is Australia 

Friday, 6 September 2013


After growing kidneys and livers in a lab, now scientists have successfully grown mini human brains. They reached their maximum size at two months and are ten months old. Could be used to test treatments and study brain disorders. Or the next step to a human clone, if it hasn't already been done.

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Caffeine Hit!

The next big thing? Caffeine, the number one thing many of us need to get through the day. But to much is bad for us, supposedly, so now there is Sprayable Energy. Each time you want a caffeine hit, you spray this colorless, odorless stuff on your skin. So much safer, right?