Friday, 31 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Halloween

Halloween was not created for kids to ask for candy and for adults to dress at parties and drink all night. Halloween was made for the purpose of allowing the order to release many species of aliens that are on Earth. This is their one day of vacation and they are allowed to be around humans because they simply believe they are people with very good costumes. This is the day that they do not have to live in underground labs and we ask them to please return in no more than 24 hours or they will be deported back to their planets.

All aliens that we allow to go out on Halloween are with us because they are seeking shelter from prosecution on their own planets. This is the reason why they obey our requests and have no problem with it. They live in perfectly accommodating installations underground for the rest of the year.

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Fountain of Youth

The fountain of youth is real and it was brought into this planet by an alien life form. The way it works is that the water it contains allows for cell regeneration in ways that are still unimaginable by human modern science. This is the same technology we have been using for centuries to rejuvenate our bodies, but we cannot allow humans to have access to it just yet. The fountain is hidden and we only allow a very select group of humans to consume this water.

Those who are allowed to do this have been extremely useful humans that have contributed greatly to the enhancement of the world. We are not going to let the general population have access to this, but eventually humanity will probably figure out how to make cell regeneration into something simple that will be available to everyone. It will then completely bury plastic surgery as a career.

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Stories of the Order - TV

Television has one purpose above all others and that is to give the masses some entertainment. It would be impossible to keep them from going crazy if we didn’t create soap operas, TV shows and movies that can keep them sedated in regards to how they live their lives. This makes it much easier for us to finally be able to handle them and to keep them from going insane and becoming restless. TV is the ultimate sedative and we see that those who want to do more with their lives will usually quit watching it.

Still, the percentage of people who want to avoid being mindless zombies is quite low in comparison to those who are willing to let TV become their sedative. We continue to try to produce shows that will encourage more viewers. Some of them have been quite successful at this and that is the reason why the actors get paid top dollar.

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Witches

Evil witches are all over the world, but they are now living undercover, never showing their powers again. That is unless they want to suffer the consequences that the order has already warned them about. Witches possess the power to control the masses and be the rulers of the human race, but none of their spells work against the order and we have enough intelligence and enough power to destroy all of the witches if needed. We chose not to because we believe that they are higher forms of human evolution that are able to use dark forces and understand the spiritual world completely.

They might be useful in the future and with the laws we have imposed on them we are sure that they will remain in the shadows as far as their powers are concerned. We do think that they are more valuable than the average human because of their ability to cast spells that normal people don’t even believe to be real.

Monday, 27 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Humans

This one is obvious but we will try to make it clear that we do not hate humans, but we do see them as guinea pigs in many ways. There are many reasons why we have experimented on humans for a long time but the main and most important one is that we believe that only by experimenting on your bodies, while alive, that we can really find and understand new ways to help you. This is why we have been conducting very secret experiments on humanity, be it individually or with the masses. We need to understand how you perform in different situations.

This is really going to allow us to help you a lot more and discover new ways to enhance your quality of life. We have technology that is far superior to yours, but a lot of our technology is far too advanced to be used in your bodies. This is why we have kept most of it unavailable to you.

Friday, 24 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Midas

The hand of Midas is probably the most dangerous treasure out there and this is due to the power that it has to turn everything to gold. Even after his death, we preserved the hand and the mummified remains of it are still able to do this. It actually rests in a gold case because it turned from steel to gold when we placed it in there. The main problem is that if this hand ever made into the outside world it would probably be used to create excessive amounts of gold and this would devalue the metal entirely.

This is the reason why we decided to hide it from public view and make sure that no one has access to it ever again. That is unless the need for more gold requires that we use it to create gold out of the most useless materials possible. The hand of Midas is hidden and heavily guarded with many other treasures.

Thursday, 23 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Pyramids

The pyramids are still a huge mystery to people and they will remain that way because their creation was entirely alien and not human. We built them to hide certain things deep underground and the pyramids are simply hollow reference points that we keep. We did place artifacts inside them to make it seem like they had another purpose, but the truth is that their real purpose is just to be there.

We are amused by how much speculation has been build regarding how they came to be, but some of the sci-fi that humans have been coming up with is actually a bit accurate out of pure coincidence. The pyramids will remain as part of some of the alien architecture that we have placed on this planet. There are many other alien constructions on Earth, but we want humans to continue thinking they are man made in order to avoid suspicion.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Desert

The desert is probably the greatest place on Earth because of how void of human presence it is and this is what we needed in order to create our underground labs. We have located many of them in some of the largest deserts in the world. The best thing is that there is no activity at all going on in the desert because we access all of the underground facilities from locations in the cities that then transport us to the underground facilities in the desert.

This is the main reason why we have such a great cover-up because no one has ever seen us entering into our facilities. The entry points are extremely well placed and no one would ever suspect them. The desert is our favorite kind of terrain for that reason and it will remain the center of our underground operations for a long time to come.

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Experiments

We have our secret experiments scattered all over the world in different facilities and they are mostly in the desert. Anyone would be crazy to even go look for them because they are deep underground and no access to them is available from the actual locations. We have far too many dangerous and powerful experiments being conducted in these areas and that is the main reason why we could never allow anyone to see them.

We are completely sure that if many of our experiments ever saw the light of day we could forever change humanity in a very negative way. People would probably become frightened if they found out certain things. It would be difficult to control the mass hysteria. We have experimented with humans in ways that even the most horrific movies have yet to depict and we have also created biological weapons beyond your wildest dreams.

Monday, 20 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Angels

Angels are real but they do not come from heaven as people think. They come from a planet from a completely different dimension of the universe. Their world is completely different from what any human being could even begin to understand. We do believe that there are many people out there who would probably die of shock if they saw what a real angel looked like. They are extremely powerful creatures that look kind of human but also have a distinct alien appearance.

They wanted to rule the earth a while ago but we stopped them because we knew that they would also want to wipe out the human race in order to become the new owners of this planet. This is why we had to stop them and fortunately their powers are no match for ours. There is a species in the universe that could destroy the order, but thankfully this planet is of no use to them.

Friday, 17 October 2014

Stories of The Order - Reality

Alternate reality mirrors are very dangerous because they can really become addictive to people. We did experiments on allowing a lot of different people to live an alternate life. It caused them to neglect their original life and become too attached to the other. That turned a lot of sane men and women into junkies that only wanted to be in their alternate reality. In some cases the alternate reality was not very good and they would just stop visiting it, but in others it became highly addictive.

There are thousands of these mirrors in existence but we have managed to store most of them. Only two remain not found and we believe the owners are keeping them secret to try to find out how they work, but their efforts are futile because their human minds could never imagine how they actually work.

Thursday, 16 October 2014

Stories of The Order - ISIS 2

At this point the ISIS terrorist organization seems to be really sinking their teeth into social media, and video displays. The Order would like to ask everyone to calm down, because they are just getting enough rope to hang themselves. These broadcasts, videos, and different uploads are all traced and coordinates are found through a variety of means. Heck, the lowliest of internet users could track them and find their exact locations, it’s not complicated. We already know where they are, and we’ve already put in place parameters for them to die a slow painful death. 

They seem to be mad about the United States, and that’s ok. We’ve already dispatched a great deal of weaponry to help them get a true taste of what we offer. Deep fried pastries, and gallons of cooking oil, because we are going to feed them the highest toxicity rate of freedom, the American way. Stuffing them with as much food as possible will truly show them that they are fighting for nothing, because fried goods are the cheapest and easiest methods of getting fat and dying off. Of course they are dumb enough to take it, and eat it, because at the end of the day, the terrorists just want a ham sandwich. It’s taboo, so we’ll give them a slap of ham, right to the face. Don’t worry, we’ve got this, so go back to enjoying freedom while The Order takes care of yet another pile of ants trying to nip at our ankles. By the way, we do this often, remember the children’s crusade? You’re welcome. 

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Stories of The Order - ISIS

With so much attention given to the terrorist group ISIS, the Order would like to not only comment but also dispatch several elements that will bring them down. First of all, let’s just clear the air, this group is dangerous, but are they the mega powers? Are they the combination of The African Dream and The Big Boss Man? No. They aren’t even The Rockers, they are nothing more than a bunch of idiots running around with some explosive toys. Like every rebellion, the Order is going to take them out with not much more than a whimper. In fact airstrikes have already occurred by the United States, but what is not being covered is that we’re pantsing them, shoving a lot of them over and stomping them out. We purposely don’t send out videos of this, because that would only make things entertainment, and we are not entertaining anyone with this. 

In order to take down ISIS, you’ll find that the Military Knights of Monte Cristo are using 1980s style elaborate weaponry. We commissioned a lot of different weapons from Cobra Commander and are taking them on in a cartoonish style, because as you may realize, ISIS is nothing but a cartoon paramilitary group. Are they going to win? Not really. Right now we are just playing with them, like a cat plays with a mouse before they get snuffed out and leave no trace behind. Just look at Bin Laden, where is he? At the bottom of the ocean, because when we are done with things, we send it to the abyss, where we control the largest fish in the sea, some that you will never see with your own eyes. You’re welcome.

Stories of the Order - Among Us

Aliens are allowed to live among humans because some of them have proven to be able to adapt completely to the ways of life of people on Earth. They want to study humans at a much closer level and this is the main reason why we are always letting them become residents of Earth for as long as they like. The Order has a lot of trading going on with plenty of alien species and some of the things we offer are quite similar to student exchange programs here on Earth.

We advise aliens to learn how to properly behave before we allow them to even try out a human suit in order to blend in. Once we learn that they are suitable for the job we allow them to freely move around, but their suits are all tracked and they are never supposed to roam this planet without them.

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Accounts

The order will always keep their secret accounts in places that are not even available to humans. We have banks that are meant only for alien life forms as well as the order to use them. We have a stock market that is solely designed for the order to use and not even alien forms are allowed in it. We control everything from here and we will continue to do so as long as we are part of this planet. Banks that have human investments are very flawed and we allow them to exist because humans are very flawed to begin with.

We do have accounts in normal banks because we have to pretend to be people just like everyone of you, but these accounts mean nothing to us. What truly matters to us is that we are constantly looking for ways to get the economy of humans to be better but we need to allow you as a species to find your own way to enhance this.

Monday, 13 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Political Correctness

For whatever reason people are pushing for more political correctness, and The Order doesn’t like it. Even though the people seem to think that it’s necessary, it’s not really permeating the real world, and that’s something that is only because we allow it. People are sheep, but there is one thing that is tried and true, they are not going to just stop talking about things in an inappropriate manner. Sure, you could try to silence certain words from the airwaves, but you will not be able to get away with this for too long.

Political correctness is only allowed to continue because we feel that it’s not going to catch on like the media wishes that it would. Most people aren’t politically correct and this movement to shove it down people’s throats is hilarious. We find it comedic to see so many people try to find a way to express certain ideas and parameters without using offensive terms. In fact, people that are supposed to be offended aren’t even offended, and this whole political correctness thing is just starting to be comedic.

The minute that we stop laughing at the attempts to find a sterile word for everything is the day that we will shut everything down. Don’t for a minute assume that The Order has lost control over what comes out of people’s mouths, the media, and more. If we want to shut down the whole world of political correctness, we will. But as of right now, we’re going to allow it to continue in certain circles as there is a bit of fun that comes through the world of these creative endeavors. However, the minute things get out of hand, and it’s soon approaching, watch out, because our fist will crush the whole thing and force the old regime to come back and reign yet again. You’re welcome, by the way.

Friday, 10 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Ghosts

There have been reports of ghosts coming through and taking over the world, but guess what? We shoved them back into their holes and confined them into houses and random areas that can’t fully take over a fast food joint. Don’t believe us? Just read accounts of ghost stories and you’ll see our penmanship all over. For instance, in “Hell House” Richard Matheson sure penned an interesting true account of how we stopped a ghost from taking over a small town by simply ridiculing them to death.

That’s right, ghosts are nothing but bullies that need to get put in their place. When you are confronted by something, take a swing, and don’t let them take over. If you can’t get a handle on the situation, don’t worry, we’ll be right there to stomp them out with our boot of justice. We work on this quite a bit as the ghosts are rascals and like to shake things up from time to time. However, we were able to take control over time with some insults, and secret elements that aren’t exactly going to get explored in detail here. If we gave up our secrets, then everyone would try to get in the face of ghosts that come out every now and again.

The reason why most people don’t even believe in ghosts is because The Order has created enough skepticism that will not allow them to take on any personable roles. If it wasn’t for our work in the past, and present, ghosts would be rampant and scaring people. Do you want that? Do you want a ghost to come through your house and leave a plasma dump on your couch?

Well then you’re welcome, because we stomped them out and confine them to boring tours and places where you would least expect them. 

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Earth

There is something funny about the whole story of the earth being flat according to early science. The funny and ironic thing about this is that the earth was actually round when they thought it was flat. Then the order had to actually turn it flat for the sake of our survival. The reason was that gravity had shifted and the process was about to start creating a phenomenon that was going to destroy Earth forever. This process was so powerful that it would have completely wrecked all Earth's structures, and dried all the seas, but the order was able to create a mechanism that allows the earth to be turned into a flat space.

The way this was achieved was with a huge set of strong titanium structures that were buried under the ground. They fractured the earth’s core and expanded it in order to create a flat ground from it. So the earth can be flat, should the order ever wish it to be.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Tornadoes

Tornadoes are not really made by any kind of weather conditions. The truth is that we designed them artificially with special devices that are meant to create specific wind speeds. They all are going to have varied levels of strength to destroy certain areas or do specific damage. This might sound like a terrible thing, but we use tornadoes and earthquakes to make some important changes in the world and we know these are sacrifices that need to occur. The order has always been responsible for most of the “natural” catastrophes that have happened in the world in modern times.

There are some cases when things do happen without warning and we have nothing to do with them, but in most cases we know when something is going to happen even if we are not the ones controlling it. Lately the use of tornadoes has become much less frequent for us.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Vacation

The order has a very specific set of places that are used for vacations. In most cases we use countries that are not so popular or common. Lately we have been putting our sights on Central America. There are some parts of Costa Rica and Nicaragua that the higher ups at the order have found to be the perfect hideaway for all their needs. There are mansions that have been built in very private beaches in that area and we have started the development of a huge city inside these remote locations.

The order believes that one of the best locations to retreat for relaxation is without a doubt the pacific coast of Nicaragua. We find it to be a perfect spot to gather out thoughts and get back to work with a clear mind. The members of the order also get stressed from time to time when there are too many decisions to be made.

Monday, 6 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Boredom

When the order gets bored there is usually a very good tradition that we use. We usually create a very important event that is heard and seen by everyone in the world. Unfortunately some of these events that we have come up with in the past have done a lot of damage to the world, but you need to understand that this planet has been more of an experiment for us than anything else. The order has never been able to see this planet as the most important or even close to our list of top priorities. We believe that it has been damaged beyond repair, but we still feel it can be restored.

There will be many trials to see how much the planet can be shaped back into something worthy of maintaining, but Earth needs a lot of changes to get back on our list of very useful and resourceful planets in the long run.

Friday, 3 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Gremlins

There was a very famous movie with gremlins in the past and the most important thing about this whole movie is that it shows the true intentions of the order at one point. The gremlins actually came from an experiment conducted by the order that was meant to get these creatures to take over the entire planet and wipe out the human race. Later on we discovered that humans still deserved a chance to redeem themselves and this is the reason why we decided to put a stop to the gremlin invasion and we placed every single gremlin and mogwai in captivity in underground labs in a region of Europe.

There is no doubt that these creatures could easily wipe out the entire human race within weeks. This is why we keep a close eye on them but we might need them in the future if things get out of hand with people.

Thursday, 2 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Microsoft

Microsoft is 100% controlled by us and we believe that this has been one of the best ways for us to maintain certain projects active without any issues. There are thousands of people who have worked very hard to keep Microsoft as the leading company that helps with many of the orders requests. Bill Gates has been a great collaborator for a long time and he has earned one of the very few spots that humans hold as honorary members of the order.

The release of the latest Xbox One console is also going to be extremely helpful for the networking aspects of many of the orders latest projects. You can expect to see a lot of important things in the next 5 years coming from Microsoft. Technology will be taking leaps that it never has before and this is going to really help enhance the world.

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Stories of the Order - Flying

The order is able to fly due to the high tech suits that have been created for them to use. Both Stealth and fight suits have existed for quite a while now and this is the reason why members of the order are able to do so many things and move around freely without even being picked up by the most advanced radars available on earth.

There is no doubt that this is the kind of invention that will create a huge revolution once we allow it to go commercial, but we do not see that happening for the next 50 to 100 years at the very least and depending on many factors. Stealth camouflage and flight suits could be extremely dangerous it if falls in the wrong hands and we want to make sure that we release it at the right time. There is nothing more important to us than to be able to keep these inventions hidden from the public for a while.