At this point the ISIS terrorist organization seems to be really sinking their teeth into social media, and video displays. The Order would like to ask everyone to calm down, because they are just getting enough rope to hang themselves. These broadcasts, videos, and different uploads are all traced and coordinates are found through a variety of means. Heck, the lowliest of internet users could track them and find their exact locations, it’s not complicated. We already know where they are, and we’ve already put in place parameters for them to die a slow painful death.
They seem to be mad about the United States, and that’s ok. We’ve already dispatched a great deal of weaponry to help them get a true taste of what we offer. Deep fried pastries, and gallons of cooking oil, because we are going to feed them the highest toxicity rate of freedom, the American way. Stuffing them with as much food as possible will truly show them that they are fighting for nothing, because fried goods are the cheapest and easiest methods of getting fat and dying off. Of course they are dumb enough to take it, and eat it, because at the end of the day, the terrorists just want a ham sandwich. It’s taboo, so we’ll give them a slap of ham, right to the face. Don’t worry, we’ve got this, so go back to enjoying freedom while The Order takes care of yet another pile of ants trying to nip at our ankles. By the way, we do this often, remember the children’s crusade? You’re welcome.