Thursday, 24 April 2014

Stories of the Order - Hygiene

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo takes hygiene very seriously. In the dark ages, long before indoor plumbing and high speed internet, people were perfectly pleased with relieving themselves in forests and nearby ditches, or sometimes even chamber pots when laziness or cold weather struck. Little did they know, they were in fact spreading deadly diseases such as the bubonic plague, caused by bacterium and Yersinia pestis. The girls of the time also had no place to congregate and talk about boys and reapply their lip-gloss.

So once again, The Order stepped in and saved the day by inventing the magical and ergonomical creation that is the toilet. At first of course, these were primitive fixtures made from bricks with wooden seats on top. They had vertical chutes, through which waste fell into street drains or cesspits. But gradually, The Order updated the design and appearance as well as functionality. The Order even created "High-tech" toilets, which include features such as: automatic-flushing mechanisms that flush a toilet when finished; water jets, or "bottom washers" like a bidet; blow dryers; artificial flush sounds to mask noises; and urine and stool analysis for medical monitoring. Amazing.

9 comments:

  1. Necessity led to all the innovative ideas obviously! Nicely HGW!

    Hank

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  2. Damn, they did create everything

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  3. well thank goodness for toilets...but i have used outdoor facilities...actually dug them and built the boxes for them as well....no bidet though....

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  4. One of the best inventions ever! I don't think I could live in a world without modern conveniences such as an indoor toilet!

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  5. Technology has come a long way - even for the Order!

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  6. Hurrah for the invention! It's hard enough to clean up after the guys WITH a toilet, I can't imagine what life would be like without one. :)

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  7. The Order must have ordained Thomas Crapper (1836 - 1910) to create the toilet. Not the flush toilet, but the "ballcock" toilet. The Order allowed Mr. Crapper to receive royal warrants to patent his invention.
    They must be very proud of him.

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