At this point the ISIS terrorist
organization seems to be really sinking their teeth into social media, and
video displays. The Order would like to ask everyone to calm down, because they
are just getting enough rope to hang themselves. These broadcasts, videos, and
different uploads are all traced and coordinates are found through a variety of
means. Heck, the lowliest of internet users could track them and find their
exact locations, it’s not complicated. We already know where they are, and
we’ve already put in place parameters for them to die a slow painful death.
They seem to be mad about the United
States, and that’s ok. We’ve already dispatched a great deal of weaponry to
help them get a true taste of what we offer. Deep fried pastries, and gallons
of cooking oil, because we are going to feed them the highest toxicity rate of
freedom, the American way. Stuffing them with as much food as possible will
truly show them that they are fighting for nothing, because fried goods are the
cheapest and easiest methods of getting fat and dying off. Of course they are
dumb enough to take it, and eat it, because at the end of the day, the
terrorists just want a ham sandwich. It’s taboo, so we’ll give them a slap of
ham, right to the face. Don’t worry, we’ve got this, so go back to enjoying
freedom while The Order takes care of yet another pile of ants trying to nip at
our ankles. By the way, we do this often, remember the children’s crusade?
You’re welcome.
